An Urn That Looks Like You

It used to be, if you wanted your terrifying visage to glare balefully down at your descendants for generations, you needed to get a portrait done. While I am sure everyone would love to terrify their great-great-grandchildren, who has the thousands to drop on such an extravagance?

Well, modern technology to the rescue! All you need is a 3D printer–one large enough to print a life-size human head: https://patents.google.com/patent/US9610207B1/

USP 9,610,207, FIG. 1
Loving the goth/punk representation

The urn comes in two parts: A creepy face part and a mounting portion. There’s a separate container that you can insert into the back of the creepy face part, which holds the ashes. As a bonus, the mounting portion can display a religious symbol. You know, like this one:

USP 9,610,207, FIG. 6
“Atheist symbol 666.”
Sure… that’s what that is.

This went one of two ways. Either the inventor insisted that the anarchy symbol be labeled 666 because he thought it would be funny, or the patent attorney added that, sincerely thinking that it was a number associated with atheism. Picking reference numbers is usually the attorney’s job, but given the clear aesthetic behind the choice of head model, this could go either way.

Whoever did it, I hope that you read this and know that you are appreciated.

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