I have been having a problem: Every time I find a funny patent, I find a whole set of related patents and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I never know where to stop. Prudence dictates that I should spread them out, so that I have content for years to come. But I can't … Continue reading Kick-ass Machines
I thought it would be nice to do something Thanksgivingy for Thanksgiving. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, so I just started my search with the word "turkey." I figured I'd get some bonkers frying apparatus and that would be that. Friends, I underestimated how deep the turkeyhole goes. There are so many … Continue reading Getting Gobblers
If an inventor's life is dominated by their children's social calendar, they can end up taking the road most traveled. That's why the cake spit shield has been patented so many times.
I say that I love all parts of the electromagnetic spectrum equally, but let's be honest: Microwaves are clearly the best waves. Visible light is great and all, and my fellow radio nerds will all have their favorites, but microwaves run our WiFi and cook our food. What more could you ask for in a … Continue reading The Mole Death Ray
Revel in the absurdity of the human intellect, the joy of creation, and the intersection of artistic vision with the grinding machinery of law.
I started writing a post about homeopathy patents, but it made me so angry that I had to put it down. So we'll leave that for when I've cooled down. In the meantime, here's this "gem" I found while researching that. I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn what side of the crystal healing … Continue reading The Homeopathic Therapy Crystal
There was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where our plucky heroes encounter a planet with crystalline life. Besides being part of a poorly studied arc across the Star Trek franchises that explores the limits of humans' ability to make friends with sassy rocks, the episode used this post's title to describe human … Continue reading Ugly Bags of Mostly Water
But it is valuable to remember that the Zahir is a sickness of the human mind, and will latch itself onto any system. For the practically minded obsessed, who at once want to share their vision and to jealously protect it, the patent system is a natural outlet.
Parks have been called the "lungs of the city," by people who really don't understand the sheer amount of green biomass needed to convert carbon dioxide to oxygen. They figure that having a few trees nearby is enough to provide fresh air to the locals. Fortunately, parks serve other purposes, so that particular ethos of … Continue reading The Greenhouse Helmet
Eventually I will get to some patents that actually made it through the examination process. But first, check this out: The Bible Field Enhancer was invented through extensive research and development. It amplified the bible field to a level where you do not have to read any passages in the Bible, just stand in front … Continue reading The Bible Field Enhancer
Patenting the odd, the impossible, and the unnerving 