Less Dangerous, I Guess?

As I write this, I can hear the sounds of fireworks echoing across my town. I’ve never been a fireworks-at-home kind of guy. They just weren’t a big thing where I grew up, and I’d heard enough horror stories of people making mistakes with Roman candles to keep me from doing my own research on the subject.

But if necessity is the mother of invention, then explosives are its midwife. Enter the shielded fireworks holder:

Image of a child holding a Roman candle using a handle that includes a disc, where the disc shields the child. The child's face is terrifying.
USP 2,268,213, FIG. 1

The invention includes a disc that serves to protect the wielder from sparks and embers kicked back by the Roman candle. While I can grant that this is probably safer than holding a Roman candle in your bare hands, I think the patent underrates the importance of proper face protection. That is, I’m sure, why the child in the picture is wearing a horrifying Purge mask.

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