At first, I was thinking this post would be about oil fields. I was finding all sorts of patents about Christmas trees on oil wells, and I thought it was amazing that the people who drill for oil had such festive spirits. But it turns out that "Christmas tree" is just a term of art … Continue reading The Personal Energy Christmas Ornaments
t used to be, if you wanted your terrifying visage to glare balefully down at your descendants for generations, you needed to get a portrait done.
I was told that, in the future, we would have flying cars. But if you believe the patent records, we have had flying cars for nigh on a century!
I wish I could explain, even if just to myself, why I find crackpots so deeply fascinating. I think it's the thrill of danger. When I start reading their stuff, I can feel the gentle tug of the void opening up, ready to receive me. Yes, tell me more. Yes, I would like to discuss … Continue reading Infinitymatrix and Infinityscrew
I have been having a problem: Every time I find a funny patent, I find a whole set of related patents and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I never know where to stop. Prudence dictates that I should spread them out, so that I have content for years to come. But I can't … Continue reading Kick-ass Machines
Revel in the absurdity of the human intellect, the joy of creation, and the intersection of artistic vision with the grinding machinery of law.
I started writing a post about homeopathy patents, but it made me so angry that I had to put it down. So we'll leave that for when I've cooled down. In the meantime, here's this "gem" I found while researching that. I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn what side of the crystal healing … Continue reading The Homeopathic Therapy Crystal
There was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where our plucky heroes encounter a planet with crystalline life. Besides being part of a poorly studied arc across the Star Trek franchises that explores the limits of humans' ability to make friends with sassy rocks, the episode used this post's title to describe human … Continue reading Ugly Bags of Mostly Water
Parks have been called the "lungs of the city," by people who really don't understand the sheer amount of green biomass needed to convert carbon dioxide to oxygen. They figure that having a few trees nearby is enough to provide fresh air to the locals. Fortunately, parks serve other purposes, so that particular ethos of … Continue reading The Greenhouse Helmet
Mr. St. Clair, hard at work No record of improbable patents would be complete without a JQ St. C patent, so let's start there. Mr. St. Clair was a prolific filer-for-patents in the early years of the new millennium. I hesitate to call him an inventor, for reasons that will become apparent. To help understand … Continue reading The Inimitable John Quincy St. Clair
Patenting the odd, the impossible, and the unnerving 